when sleep becomes the haven on which you cant wait to open the gates and jump in life is not going your way

im a pathetic hoe who has nothing real my god and i thought everything was going so fucking well. i need it i need something real. I HATE I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER. these 800 rants hopefully shall be gone when sleep comes and the realness becomes my dreams and peace shall come at last lasting on average eight hours

damn robots we all need help why cant you understand your path is not the way

why cant the girl in a fairy tale be the hero, the one saving the man. is it because man is an impossible task? are they always going to be eternally suborn and rather die than be saved so the heroin does not even try they get heartbroken and drink themselves numb while they sit and watch as the robot self destructs

rainbow is a game for those whos holes can not be temporaly filled with gentlemen

for now the gaping hole in my heart is being filled with gentlemen but soon the real thing will be needed and who knows when that day will come and if it does will i be dead before it comes gentlemen can only last so long. and i also don't think i can take the artificial stuff. no i cant believe its not butter i want to real thing give me a damn heart attack my lipstick ring shall only be to the love not the rape

the red marker has dried but again another is needed till the day of depression

another six months begins to count down i just got to the one day mark a few days ago Tuesday to be exact and now i get to start over anticipation is exhilarating but also a hard and cold bitch. so here i go one day at a time im going to have to buy another big red marker though.

the it i used to call friend

my old friend came back into my life again i really haven't seen or talked to it in well 7 months. And in reality its not really back only for a short time. on things we used to agree we cant stand the others opinion our backs are now unprotected the same commonness is gone and now we have nothing i found myself wishing for it to go back to the place i hated it having in the first place. time is going to go slowly and will be filled with many awkward moments why does things change

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8

people suck life sucks school sucks where is that one thing that makes life worth living i seem to have misplaced it.

day to day boringness

school is inevitable. You would think they could make it more fun or different daily. the same thing everyday is boring which makes everyday boring. one little schedule change in a school day makes the whole day better because its not the same as everything else. i love those days. but then i hate the days where all we do is sit there and listen to teachers who would most likely do something else. better for there time. i know id rather do something better than this. something is always better than homework this is pain. i need the sun on my face. grass beneath my feet where is summer i miss and need it i need something different.

pirates and hoes

i need a book. well i decent one. i have a book of course but its boring. its about this orphan jamie and there may or may not be this evil thing inside him and really i dont care if there is. the is no simpathy card. they didnt let us love the character first they just went ll crazy on us with pirates and hoes and so i just dont care i guess i never cared for him which makes me not care for the book or the author as well. she really sucks someone should tell her how to write a good book i have read some crapy books in my day but its just to boring to boring for my time but yet i find myself reading it becfause i really have nothing else. im dry i really need something i hate not having a book a watch reruns and that is a very bad thing